Jerry Colonna with his boss Bob Hope - at NBC in 1940 and the South Pacific in 1944.
"PROFESSOR" JERRY COLONNA
Jerry Colonna led two lives.
His unforgettable face with its five inch handlebar mustache and bulging eyes, his stage presence and singing brought laughter to millions. Bob Hope said of his longtime friend and sidekick: “Jerry has two personalities. One is a zany, silly moron - the other is a serious, deep-thinking moron.”
HOPE: Professor Colonna!
COLONNA: Greetings, Gate! Let’s communicate!
HOPE: Colonna, what are you doing in Panama?
COLONNA: I'm working on a very important project, Hope....draining the Panama Canal.
HOPE: Draining the Panama Canal? How are you doing that?
COLONNA: Five thousand men, each with a soda straw.
HOPE: Colonna, that’s impossible.
COLONNA: It is? (Shouting off mike) All right, men - spit it out!
Moronic? Certainly. Nevertheless, in his excellent biography, Greetings, Gate!, Robert Colonna describes his father offstage as intelligent, soft-spoken and gentlemanly, devoted to his friends and family. He was a skilled musician, songwriter, horseman and sharp shooter. It was a side that few outside of his private life knew, which was just the way he wanted it.
So how did this man of many interests become known as the lunatic Professor Colonna?
Gerardo Luigi Colonna was born in Boston on September 17, 1904, the youngest of James and Mary Colonna’s three sons. James put an emphasis on education, becoming a reliable interpreter of Italian immigration cases in Massachusetts courts. But formal education was lost on young Gerardo who would rather skip classes and sneak into the Boston Opera House where his older brother Tony was a house manager.
It was there that the youngster found hilarious the loud long notes, trilling r’s and over-enunciated lyrics sung by operatic soloists - trademarks that audiences would eventually find so hilarious in his own singing, particularly his elongated opening “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” before launching into the lyrics at hand.
As Newsweek described it, “…Tearing up straight songs in a voice that begins with a mousy whisper and reaches a roaring crescendo. He can - and usually does - hold a note longer than most opera singers - an attribute usually found only in hog callers.”
The teenage Jerry fancied himself a drummer and was good enough at 14 to play with friends at neighborhood social functions around Boston. At 15 he joined the Navy - until his true age was discovered three days later and he was returned to civilian life. Determined to work, Colonna took a longshoreman’s job on the Boston docks while he continued to play drums with local bands. Then he spotted a trombone for $30 in a pawn shop window. The instrument would change his life.
For the most part Jerry was on his own learning to play the trombone - without the slightest idea of how to read music. Gifted with perfect pitch and a remarkable memory, he learned by trial and error, playing along with his growing collection of jazz records. By 1924, he felt confident enough to switch from the drums to the trombone. It was also during this period that Colonna grew his famous oversized mustache to protect his lip, a mustache that he would later insure against loss for $250,000.
Colonna’s rise as a skilled trombonist was fast, to say the least. He quickly learned to read music and became adept at sight reading. He left the docks to become a fulltime professional musician whose reputation spread from Boston to New York where he briefly held the chair in Ozzie Nelson’s band once occupied by Tommy Dorsey and Glenn Miller. Then on a 1925 blind date, he met the girl who became the love of his life.
Florence Purcell was a Boston department store buyer who often traveled to New York. She was four years younger than Jerry, a devout Roman Catholic and just the kind of cute girl he was proud to bring home to meet his mother who was immediately taken with Flo’s sudden interest in Italian cooking. Jerry and Flo were married on November 2, 1930, a union that would last 56 years.
Radio and Colonna found each other in New York. His virtuosity and versatility were welcome additions to network program orchestras and to the CBS Symphony which he joined in 1931, soon becoming its first chair trombonist. His sense of humor and crazy singing were also appreciated to break the tedium of rehearsals.
While playing with Peter Van Steeden’s band on Fred Allen’s Town Hall Tonight in 1935, his comic singing style was “discovered” by Minerva Pious, known to millions as Mrs. Pansy Nussbaum of Allen’s Alley. As a joke, Pious arranged a formal audition for Colonna to be witnessed by Allen. After an elaborate piano introduction Jerry let forth with an extremely long “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” that had Allen convulsing before Colonna could continue with On The Road To Mandalay.
News of the silly singing trombone player’s audition reached Hollywood and producer Walter Wanger who was in need of a specialty act for his film 52nd Street. Wanger sent for Colonna and a short bit as a singing trombone player in 52nd Street became the first of Jerry’s 27 on screen appearances including three of Bob Hope & Bing Crosby’s Road pictures.
Colonna’s stay in Hollywood became permanent. He sent for Flo and settled down because his reputation as a trombonist preceded him and there was good work to be had. He quickly found it in Ray Noble’s Burns & Allen Show band, Billy Mills’ Fibber McGee & Molly band and John Scott Trotter’s Kraft Music Hall orchestra. Colonna also befriended Trotter’s boss, Bing Crosby, which led to another break.
The November 4, 1937, New York Times radio section lists Giovanni Colonna as one of Crosby’s guests on that evening’s Kraft Music Hall. It was part of an elaborate joke that Crosby perpetrated on the press to, “…introduce the brilliant Italian baritone direct from La Scala to American audiences.” With a flourishing introduction from Trotter’s orchestra, Jerry let out with a twelve second, ear-splitting “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” leading into his version of the popular You’re My Everything. It brought down the house with laughter and caught Bob Hope’s attention.
Hope and Colonna soon got to know each other during the filming of Paramount’s College Swing in early 1938. Hope had a supporting role and Colonna was introduced to a music class at the mythical Alden college as Professor Yascha Koloski who launched into two minutes of lunacy with “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” and his over the top rendition of the romantic ballad, Please.
At the time Hope was putting together a cast for his new Pepsodent Show on NBC beginning in the fall. He hired Colonna as his principal stooge and would forever address him as Professor Colonna.
Midway in September 27, 1938’s inaugural broadcast of The Pepsodent Show on 55 NBC stations, Hope introduces Colonna with tongue-in-cheek much as Crosby had done, as "Signor Jer-ray Colonna". Jerry immediately bursts into the opening “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” of Ah! Sweet Mystery of Life for 14 seconds. Then, after interrupting the song for a dialogue with Hope, he follows up with On The Road To Mandalay. Colonna returns as The Baron of Gargoyle Castle in the show’s closing five minutes and is given the program’s final punch line.
That set a trend in The Pepsodent Show’s format. Colonna usually got the last laugh while Hope stood by, preparing to sing his closing theme. (See About A Song.)
Network Radio Ratings, 1932-1953, reports that The Pepsodent Show had a good start, finishing the season at 12th place in the Annual Top 50. Its 15.4 Hooperating was two points behind its lead-in, Fibber McGee & Molly. Hope’s ratings improved by 50% in 1939-40 and the show enjoyed its first of eleven consecutive seasons in the Annual Top Ten. Colonna was with Hope for nine of those years. (See Tuesday’s All Time Top Ten.)
Jerry’s second brush with the Navy came after violinist Yehudi Menuhin appeared on Hope’s show in 1939 and Colonna popularized the catch-phrase, “Who’s Yehudi?“ The Navy adopted the name in 1940 for Project Yehudi, its early stealth technology experiments. Little did Jerry know at the time that he’d soon contribute much more than just a name to the armed forces.
On May 6, 1941, Hope, Colonna and singer Frances Langford took their Tuesday night NBC broadcast to March Field in Riverside, 70 miles from Hollywood. It was the first of many Pepsodent Shows the trio would perform for service personnel - and countless more shows that weren’t broadcast.
For many of these shows Colonna appeared in the uniform of the Army, Navy, Marine or Air Force audience. As Hope recalled, “Jerry would pop up out of the audience and I would ask him, ’What were you before you joined the service?’ He’d answer, ‘Happy!’ - and the audience roared.”
In April, 1942, Hope, Langford and Colonna joined The Hollywood Victory Caravan - a trainload of stars that toured the country selling War Bonds. Before returning to Los Angeles, they performed in 65 stateside service camps and hospitals as well as doing their Tuesday night broadcasts.
When Hope and Colonna’s film assignments were completed on September 8, 1942, they left with Langford, guitarist/singer Tony Romano and Hope‘s longtime friend and gag writer Barney Dean for a 15 day tour of armed forces installations in Alaska. After ten days they returned to Seattle for the first Pepsodent Show of the season then flew back to Anchorage to complete the tour.
The troupe followed that with a November and December tour of camps and hospitals in Colorado, Oklahoma, Missouri, Iowa, Ohio and Indiana. In 1943, their ten week trip stopped in Arizona, Texas, Louisiana, Florida, Georgia, Virginia and Ohio.
The January 5, 1943, Pepsodent Show with guest Rita Hayworth from the Desert Training Center at Camp Young, California is posted below. Colonna‘s solo of a hit novelty of the day, Conchita Marquita Lolita Pepita Rosita Juanita Lopez, displays his vocal talent when given challenging lyrics. He returns later in a routine with Barbara Jo Allen’s Vera Vague character and, as usual, delivers the show’s closing laugh line.
When the 1942-43 season ended, The Pepsodent Show was statistically tied with Red Skelton’s Raleigh Program at a 32.3 average rating and Number One among all programs. With Colonna and Langford at his side, Hope began a streak of five straight seasons as the nation’s most popular Network Radio attraction.
Outside commitments prevented Colonna from joining Hope, Langford, Romano and Dean on their tour entertaining troops in Britain, North Africa and Sicily in the summer of 1943, but he was quick to join them on ten week, 30,000 mile island-hopping tour of the South Pacific that left on June 22, 1944.
HOPE: This isn’t your first trip abroad, is it, Professor?
COLONNA: No, Hope, I’ve been all over the world - England, Australia, Africa, Russia and Alaska.
HOPE: You’ve been to England, Australia, Africa, Russia and Alaska?
COLONNA: Yes. I’ll get one of your checks cashed yet!
Hope’s troupe, now with Colonna and dancer Patty Thomas, performed approximately 160 camp and hospital shows from Hawaii to Australia and New Guinea with dozens of stops in between. On August 12, 1944, NBC broadcast a special 15 minute performance of the group shortwaved from “somewhere in the Pacific,” in which Colonna bellows the hit song, I Love You. Although the location was kept secret, it most likely originated at Kwajelein in the Marshall Islands, home of a powerful AFRS Mosquito Network radio installation. The audio quality is poor but the audience can be heard cheering as soon as Colonna, without introduction, appears on stage.
Over 25 years from World War II to Korea and Viet Nam, Colonna made twelve overseas trips with Hope covering four million miles. Together they performed over 1,500 shows with audiences ranging from thousands to a mere handful.
HOPE: Professor Colonna!
COLONNA: Greetings, Gate! Let’s liberate!
HOPE: (Fingering Colonna‘s mustache.) Hmm…
COLONNA: Careful!
HOPE: Why?
COLONNA: Snipers!
HOPE: Are you sure you got the right head back from the cleaners?
COLONNA: Why? Is yours too tight?
HOPE: Keep it up, Colonna, and you’re sure to make the idiots’ team.
COLONNA: Thanks, Coach!
There’s no question that his years with Hope were Colonna’s peak as a performer. In 1945 he joined his friend Johnny Mercer, part owner of Capitol Records, and turned out a series of comedy discs. His voice had become so popular that he was heard in Walt Disney’s Make Mine Music in 1946 narrating Casey At The Bat. His later Disney voiceovers included telling the story of The Brave Engineer, then portraying The March Hare in the classic, Alice In Wonderland.
But postwar ratings were taking their toll on Hope’s radio show. After five seasons ranked Number One in the Annual Top 50, Hope sank to fifth place in 1947-48 behind Lux Radio Theater and comedians Fibber McGee & Molly, Amos & Andy and Edgar Bergen. Panic set in and changes were ordered. Colonna, Langford and Barbara Jo Allen’s Vera Vague were casualties. If it was of any consolation to the three - and it probably wasn‘t - Hope‘s program, now The Swan Soap Show, slipped even further after the 1948-49 season to Number 7 then to Number 10 the following year.
Poor investments and other financial setbacks in the 1950’s forced Jerry and Flo to sell assets. Colonna hit the road with a solo act and still did occasional guest shots with Hope plus his USO tours. He appeared in dozens of television shows and starred in two series - ABC’s short-lived Jerry Colonna Show in 1951 and Super Circus in 1955 - but nothing seemed to stick. However, his lounge act on the Nevada casino circuit was popular and he kept plugging away, keeping both his audiences and bosses happy.
Colonna suffered a massive stroke in August, 1966, permanently paralyzing his left side, but he was able to walk with a cane. Hope gave his old sidekick cameo parts in his television shows, always in a sitting position with his left arm hidden. Nevertheless, the old repartee was evident despite the passing years:
HOPE: Haven’t I seen your face somewhere else?
COLONNA: No. It’s always been right here between my ears.
HOPE: Are you trying to make me look ridiculous?
COLONNA: Oh, I couldn’t take all the credit.
HOPE: Look, mink lip, why don’t you find another idiot and get married?
COLONNA: Do you cook?
HOPE: You know, you’re an idiot’s dream…
COLONNA: Sleep tight!
Hope also put Jerry to work behind the scenes, reviewing music scores for the comedian’s television shows and writing comments. Although Colonna was no longer able to play his trombone and had given it away, he was still a musician at heart.
Colonna suffered a heart attack in 1977 that put him in The Motion Picture & Television Hospital in Woodland Hills for the rest of his life. Doctors were forced to insert a breathing and feeding tube in his throat which rendered him speechless. But he was still able to write and passed messages to his beloved Flo who visited him for hours every day. And he managed to keep a sense of humor, scribbling jokes for his nurses.
After nine years in the hospital Jerry began to fail and lapsed into a coma in November, 1986. Obeying the instructions of his living will, doctors removed life supports and with his family at his bedside waited for the end - that didn’t come.
As his adopted son Robert wrote in his father’s biography, “He kept hanging on. Even with Flo near him, Jerry was waiting for someone.”
That “someone” was Bob Hope, who returned from a tour of Japan on November 22nd and rushed to his old friend’s bedside. Hope spent a long time sitting close to Jerry, recalling their old and good times together. Hope finally left and half an hour later Jerry Colonna passed away. He was 82 years old.
Hope delivered the eulogy at Jerry‘s funeral: “He delighted the world with his unique style of comedy, blessed with the glorious gift of laughter that he brought with him wherever he went. When I talk about Jerry Colonna I feel like I’m talking about a part of me. He was a part of me for so many years. He was a friend and that’s as much a part of someone as you can be.”
But friends hadn’t heard the last from Jerry Colonna. When his beloved Flo died eight years later, their grandsons hooked up a sound system at her funeral service. The church was suddenly filled with Jerry’s familiar “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” leading into what Jerry and Flo called their own love song, You’re My Everything.
Robert Colonna wrote of the moment, “Everyone started to laugh, then they started to cry. Then they all laughed again. It was perfect.”
Once again, it was just the way Jerry Colonna would have wanted it.
Copyright © 2015 Jim Ramsburg, Estero FL Email: tojimramsburg@gmail.com
Jerry Colonna led two lives.
His unforgettable face with its five inch handlebar mustache and bulging eyes, his stage presence and singing brought laughter to millions. Bob Hope said of his longtime friend and sidekick: “Jerry has two personalities. One is a zany, silly moron - the other is a serious, deep-thinking moron.”
HOPE: Professor Colonna!
COLONNA: Greetings, Gate! Let’s communicate!
HOPE: Colonna, what are you doing in Panama?
COLONNA: I'm working on a very important project, Hope....draining the Panama Canal.
HOPE: Draining the Panama Canal? How are you doing that?
COLONNA: Five thousand men, each with a soda straw.
HOPE: Colonna, that’s impossible.
COLONNA: It is? (Shouting off mike) All right, men - spit it out!
Moronic? Certainly. Nevertheless, in his excellent biography, Greetings, Gate!, Robert Colonna describes his father offstage as intelligent, soft-spoken and gentlemanly, devoted to his friends and family. He was a skilled musician, songwriter, horseman and sharp shooter. It was a side that few outside of his private life knew, which was just the way he wanted it.
So how did this man of many interests become known as the lunatic Professor Colonna?
Gerardo Luigi Colonna was born in Boston on September 17, 1904, the youngest of James and Mary Colonna’s three sons. James put an emphasis on education, becoming a reliable interpreter of Italian immigration cases in Massachusetts courts. But formal education was lost on young Gerardo who would rather skip classes and sneak into the Boston Opera House where his older brother Tony was a house manager.
It was there that the youngster found hilarious the loud long notes, trilling r’s and over-enunciated lyrics sung by operatic soloists - trademarks that audiences would eventually find so hilarious in his own singing, particularly his elongated opening “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” before launching into the lyrics at hand.
As Newsweek described it, “…Tearing up straight songs in a voice that begins with a mousy whisper and reaches a roaring crescendo. He can - and usually does - hold a note longer than most opera singers - an attribute usually found only in hog callers.”
The teenage Jerry fancied himself a drummer and was good enough at 14 to play with friends at neighborhood social functions around Boston. At 15 he joined the Navy - until his true age was discovered three days later and he was returned to civilian life. Determined to work, Colonna took a longshoreman’s job on the Boston docks while he continued to play drums with local bands. Then he spotted a trombone for $30 in a pawn shop window. The instrument would change his life.
For the most part Jerry was on his own learning to play the trombone - without the slightest idea of how to read music. Gifted with perfect pitch and a remarkable memory, he learned by trial and error, playing along with his growing collection of jazz records. By 1924, he felt confident enough to switch from the drums to the trombone. It was also during this period that Colonna grew his famous oversized mustache to protect his lip, a mustache that he would later insure against loss for $250,000.
Colonna’s rise as a skilled trombonist was fast, to say the least. He quickly learned to read music and became adept at sight reading. He left the docks to become a fulltime professional musician whose reputation spread from Boston to New York where he briefly held the chair in Ozzie Nelson’s band once occupied by Tommy Dorsey and Glenn Miller. Then on a 1925 blind date, he met the girl who became the love of his life.
Florence Purcell was a Boston department store buyer who often traveled to New York. She was four years younger than Jerry, a devout Roman Catholic and just the kind of cute girl he was proud to bring home to meet his mother who was immediately taken with Flo’s sudden interest in Italian cooking. Jerry and Flo were married on November 2, 1930, a union that would last 56 years.
Radio and Colonna found each other in New York. His virtuosity and versatility were welcome additions to network program orchestras and to the CBS Symphony which he joined in 1931, soon becoming its first chair trombonist. His sense of humor and crazy singing were also appreciated to break the tedium of rehearsals.
While playing with Peter Van Steeden’s band on Fred Allen’s Town Hall Tonight in 1935, his comic singing style was “discovered” by Minerva Pious, known to millions as Mrs. Pansy Nussbaum of Allen’s Alley. As a joke, Pious arranged a formal audition for Colonna to be witnessed by Allen. After an elaborate piano introduction Jerry let forth with an extremely long “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” that had Allen convulsing before Colonna could continue with On The Road To Mandalay.
News of the silly singing trombone player’s audition reached Hollywood and producer Walter Wanger who was in need of a specialty act for his film 52nd Street. Wanger sent for Colonna and a short bit as a singing trombone player in 52nd Street became the first of Jerry’s 27 on screen appearances including three of Bob Hope & Bing Crosby’s Road pictures.
Colonna’s stay in Hollywood became permanent. He sent for Flo and settled down because his reputation as a trombonist preceded him and there was good work to be had. He quickly found it in Ray Noble’s Burns & Allen Show band, Billy Mills’ Fibber McGee & Molly band and John Scott Trotter’s Kraft Music Hall orchestra. Colonna also befriended Trotter’s boss, Bing Crosby, which led to another break.
The November 4, 1937, New York Times radio section lists Giovanni Colonna as one of Crosby’s guests on that evening’s Kraft Music Hall. It was part of an elaborate joke that Crosby perpetrated on the press to, “…introduce the brilliant Italian baritone direct from La Scala to American audiences.” With a flourishing introduction from Trotter’s orchestra, Jerry let out with a twelve second, ear-splitting “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” leading into his version of the popular You’re My Everything. It brought down the house with laughter and caught Bob Hope’s attention.
Hope and Colonna soon got to know each other during the filming of Paramount’s College Swing in early 1938. Hope had a supporting role and Colonna was introduced to a music class at the mythical Alden college as Professor Yascha Koloski who launched into two minutes of lunacy with “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” and his over the top rendition of the romantic ballad, Please.
At the time Hope was putting together a cast for his new Pepsodent Show on NBC beginning in the fall. He hired Colonna as his principal stooge and would forever address him as Professor Colonna.
Midway in September 27, 1938’s inaugural broadcast of The Pepsodent Show on 55 NBC stations, Hope introduces Colonna with tongue-in-cheek much as Crosby had done, as "Signor Jer-ray Colonna". Jerry immediately bursts into the opening “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” of Ah! Sweet Mystery of Life for 14 seconds. Then, after interrupting the song for a dialogue with Hope, he follows up with On The Road To Mandalay. Colonna returns as The Baron of Gargoyle Castle in the show’s closing five minutes and is given the program’s final punch line.
That set a trend in The Pepsodent Show’s format. Colonna usually got the last laugh while Hope stood by, preparing to sing his closing theme. (See About A Song.)
Network Radio Ratings, 1932-1953, reports that The Pepsodent Show had a good start, finishing the season at 12th place in the Annual Top 50. Its 15.4 Hooperating was two points behind its lead-in, Fibber McGee & Molly. Hope’s ratings improved by 50% in 1939-40 and the show enjoyed its first of eleven consecutive seasons in the Annual Top Ten. Colonna was with Hope for nine of those years. (See Tuesday’s All Time Top Ten.)
Jerry’s second brush with the Navy came after violinist Yehudi Menuhin appeared on Hope’s show in 1939 and Colonna popularized the catch-phrase, “Who’s Yehudi?“ The Navy adopted the name in 1940 for Project Yehudi, its early stealth technology experiments. Little did Jerry know at the time that he’d soon contribute much more than just a name to the armed forces.
On May 6, 1941, Hope, Colonna and singer Frances Langford took their Tuesday night NBC broadcast to March Field in Riverside, 70 miles from Hollywood. It was the first of many Pepsodent Shows the trio would perform for service personnel - and countless more shows that weren’t broadcast.
For many of these shows Colonna appeared in the uniform of the Army, Navy, Marine or Air Force audience. As Hope recalled, “Jerry would pop up out of the audience and I would ask him, ’What were you before you joined the service?’ He’d answer, ‘Happy!’ - and the audience roared.”
In April, 1942, Hope, Langford and Colonna joined The Hollywood Victory Caravan - a trainload of stars that toured the country selling War Bonds. Before returning to Los Angeles, they performed in 65 stateside service camps and hospitals as well as doing their Tuesday night broadcasts.
When Hope and Colonna’s film assignments were completed on September 8, 1942, they left with Langford, guitarist/singer Tony Romano and Hope‘s longtime friend and gag writer Barney Dean for a 15 day tour of armed forces installations in Alaska. After ten days they returned to Seattle for the first Pepsodent Show of the season then flew back to Anchorage to complete the tour.
The troupe followed that with a November and December tour of camps and hospitals in Colorado, Oklahoma, Missouri, Iowa, Ohio and Indiana. In 1943, their ten week trip stopped in Arizona, Texas, Louisiana, Florida, Georgia, Virginia and Ohio.
The January 5, 1943, Pepsodent Show with guest Rita Hayworth from the Desert Training Center at Camp Young, California is posted below. Colonna‘s solo of a hit novelty of the day, Conchita Marquita Lolita Pepita Rosita Juanita Lopez, displays his vocal talent when given challenging lyrics. He returns later in a routine with Barbara Jo Allen’s Vera Vague character and, as usual, delivers the show’s closing laugh line.
When the 1942-43 season ended, The Pepsodent Show was statistically tied with Red Skelton’s Raleigh Program at a 32.3 average rating and Number One among all programs. With Colonna and Langford at his side, Hope began a streak of five straight seasons as the nation’s most popular Network Radio attraction.
Outside commitments prevented Colonna from joining Hope, Langford, Romano and Dean on their tour entertaining troops in Britain, North Africa and Sicily in the summer of 1943, but he was quick to join them on ten week, 30,000 mile island-hopping tour of the South Pacific that left on June 22, 1944.
HOPE: This isn’t your first trip abroad, is it, Professor?
COLONNA: No, Hope, I’ve been all over the world - England, Australia, Africa, Russia and Alaska.
HOPE: You’ve been to England, Australia, Africa, Russia and Alaska?
COLONNA: Yes. I’ll get one of your checks cashed yet!
Hope’s troupe, now with Colonna and dancer Patty Thomas, performed approximately 160 camp and hospital shows from Hawaii to Australia and New Guinea with dozens of stops in between. On August 12, 1944, NBC broadcast a special 15 minute performance of the group shortwaved from “somewhere in the Pacific,” in which Colonna bellows the hit song, I Love You. Although the location was kept secret, it most likely originated at Kwajelein in the Marshall Islands, home of a powerful AFRS Mosquito Network radio installation. The audio quality is poor but the audience can be heard cheering as soon as Colonna, without introduction, appears on stage.
Over 25 years from World War II to Korea and Viet Nam, Colonna made twelve overseas trips with Hope covering four million miles. Together they performed over 1,500 shows with audiences ranging from thousands to a mere handful.
HOPE: Professor Colonna!
COLONNA: Greetings, Gate! Let’s liberate!
HOPE: (Fingering Colonna‘s mustache.) Hmm…
COLONNA: Careful!
HOPE: Why?
COLONNA: Snipers!
HOPE: Are you sure you got the right head back from the cleaners?
COLONNA: Why? Is yours too tight?
HOPE: Keep it up, Colonna, and you’re sure to make the idiots’ team.
COLONNA: Thanks, Coach!
There’s no question that his years with Hope were Colonna’s peak as a performer. In 1945 he joined his friend Johnny Mercer, part owner of Capitol Records, and turned out a series of comedy discs. His voice had become so popular that he was heard in Walt Disney’s Make Mine Music in 1946 narrating Casey At The Bat. His later Disney voiceovers included telling the story of The Brave Engineer, then portraying The March Hare in the classic, Alice In Wonderland.
But postwar ratings were taking their toll on Hope’s radio show. After five seasons ranked Number One in the Annual Top 50, Hope sank to fifth place in 1947-48 behind Lux Radio Theater and comedians Fibber McGee & Molly, Amos & Andy and Edgar Bergen. Panic set in and changes were ordered. Colonna, Langford and Barbara Jo Allen’s Vera Vague were casualties. If it was of any consolation to the three - and it probably wasn‘t - Hope‘s program, now The Swan Soap Show, slipped even further after the 1948-49 season to Number 7 then to Number 10 the following year.
Poor investments and other financial setbacks in the 1950’s forced Jerry and Flo to sell assets. Colonna hit the road with a solo act and still did occasional guest shots with Hope plus his USO tours. He appeared in dozens of television shows and starred in two series - ABC’s short-lived Jerry Colonna Show in 1951 and Super Circus in 1955 - but nothing seemed to stick. However, his lounge act on the Nevada casino circuit was popular and he kept plugging away, keeping both his audiences and bosses happy.
Colonna suffered a massive stroke in August, 1966, permanently paralyzing his left side, but he was able to walk with a cane. Hope gave his old sidekick cameo parts in his television shows, always in a sitting position with his left arm hidden. Nevertheless, the old repartee was evident despite the passing years:
HOPE: Haven’t I seen your face somewhere else?
COLONNA: No. It’s always been right here between my ears.
HOPE: Are you trying to make me look ridiculous?
COLONNA: Oh, I couldn’t take all the credit.
HOPE: Look, mink lip, why don’t you find another idiot and get married?
COLONNA: Do you cook?
HOPE: You know, you’re an idiot’s dream…
COLONNA: Sleep tight!
Hope also put Jerry to work behind the scenes, reviewing music scores for the comedian’s television shows and writing comments. Although Colonna was no longer able to play his trombone and had given it away, he was still a musician at heart.
Colonna suffered a heart attack in 1977 that put him in The Motion Picture & Television Hospital in Woodland Hills for the rest of his life. Doctors were forced to insert a breathing and feeding tube in his throat which rendered him speechless. But he was still able to write and passed messages to his beloved Flo who visited him for hours every day. And he managed to keep a sense of humor, scribbling jokes for his nurses.
After nine years in the hospital Jerry began to fail and lapsed into a coma in November, 1986. Obeying the instructions of his living will, doctors removed life supports and with his family at his bedside waited for the end - that didn’t come.
As his adopted son Robert wrote in his father’s biography, “He kept hanging on. Even with Flo near him, Jerry was waiting for someone.”
That “someone” was Bob Hope, who returned from a tour of Japan on November 22nd and rushed to his old friend’s bedside. Hope spent a long time sitting close to Jerry, recalling their old and good times together. Hope finally left and half an hour later Jerry Colonna passed away. He was 82 years old.
Hope delivered the eulogy at Jerry‘s funeral: “He delighted the world with his unique style of comedy, blessed with the glorious gift of laughter that he brought with him wherever he went. When I talk about Jerry Colonna I feel like I’m talking about a part of me. He was a part of me for so many years. He was a friend and that’s as much a part of someone as you can be.”
But friends hadn’t heard the last from Jerry Colonna. When his beloved Flo died eight years later, their grandsons hooked up a sound system at her funeral service. The church was suddenly filled with Jerry’s familiar “Mmmmmmwwwwaaaaaaa...” leading into what Jerry and Flo called their own love song, You’re My Everything.
Robert Colonna wrote of the moment, “Everyone started to laugh, then they started to cry. Then they all laughed again. It was perfect.”
Once again, it was just the way Jerry Colonna would have wanted it.
Copyright © 2015 Jim Ramsburg, Estero FL Email: tojimramsburg@gmail.com
| colonna_on_the_road_to_mandalay.mp3 |
| bob_hope_9-27-38.mp3 |
| bob_hope_1-05-43.mp3 |
| bob_hope_show_8-12-44.mp3 |
| colonna_youre_my_everything.mp3 |
